These scenes, characters and films make it harder and harder for these behaviors (Blackface, misogynoir, colorism, transphobia, anti-Blackness, etc.) to be labeled as harmful and for those being harmed not to be dismissed or gaslit. It should also be noted that a lot of these underlying behaviors (gaslighting, manipulation, rejection of accountability, stunted emotional maturity, etc.) and narcissism go hand in hand. Harmful behavior does not need to be framed as comical and it most certainly does not need a laugh track.

With multiple genocides occurring worldwide and many of us seeing firsthand how the media is corruptly covering it all, it has become clearer the power we all have by simply speaking. They know this and are afraid. They know this and are doing everything they can to get us to laugh instead of demand they listen.

“To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex. Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.”

This continues to happen and unfortunately some melanated White people are surprised when their proximity to violent Whiteness gets them harmed as well. They enter violent White spaces using the same mannerisms and words believing that’s enough to keep them from being harmed from the same violent systems, beliefs, and actions. The truth is it will never be.

The centering of Whiteness, White experiences and White feelings is excruciatingly apparent in those books. Thinness is mentioned often throughout the pieces along with the tying of monetary hoarding to success. There’s absolutely no mention of race, sexual orientation, gender beyond the binary or life outside of marriage, motherhood, business and?

In my work on psychological safety, I constantly note the needed foundations for safe relationships: trust, honesty, respect and the prioritization of safety throughout. They are all intertwined and it is almost impossible to have one without the other. Yet we see these seemingly basic human needs being dismissed by people in positions of power daily.

This article on how the Holocaust is being weaponized to justify the suffering of others is a glaring example of what happens when we don’t acknowledge and heal from harm that’s been caused to us and our communities. Similar to the way Black communities globally have had our healing excruciatingly prolonged because of re-written history that refuses any true acknowledgement of the atrocities our ancestors experienced or that we continue to experience. In my piece I Want a White History Month, I write about this large gaping hole left in White people that they attempt to fill with appropriation, deceit and more recently the support of genocide. All these uncared for wounds are bound to be internalized or spread to others.

Without space for White people to do what they need to do, we are constantly expected to hold this space and to tolerate their stunted emotional maturity around their history. I want and they need a White History Month.

Anti-Blackness refers to actions or behaviors that minimize, marginalize or devalue the full participation of Black people in life. The spectrum of anti-Black actions and behaviors spans from unconscious bias to motivated acts of prejudice. They include the tolerance of or indifference to the under-representation, differential success and advancement, or experience of Black people in the university.

In fact many of the people inhabiting islands within the Polynesian triangle and those who proudly call themselves People of the Pacific or Pacific Islanders first migrated from West Africa. Hell, there’s even a place called Melanesia. The White-washing of history, mass genocide and raping of local people has lead many to believe this is not true but I know y’all see the physical features the same way I do. I touched on a lot of this in my pieces Moana is Trash and The AAPI Acronym.

his is exactly why whenever “the female dollar” or “women’s rights” are mentioned the same White women are showcased without any mention of anyone else effected. The truth is this mediocracy is praised and expected. The idea that White women represent all women is why she has such a cult like following. I covered a lot more on this in my piece The Extremely Intentional Disconnect but you’re still a “Swiftie” because you love not being held accountable for your actions and hope that with very little change to your harmful behavior you’ll be given the same handclaps she receives.

With more White women assisting in the banning of history being taught in schools, it’s not a surprise to see that some want to ban conversations on empathy as well. Because if you don’t see certain people aka other humans as humans you don’t have to treat them as such. You don’t have to pay them fairly, you don’t have to secure their human rights, you don’t even have to acknowledge their humanity. You can just continue to uphold the disconnect and reap all the benefits.

I’d love for these conversations to happen in school but it’s not looking good with more and more legislation being passed to prevent conversations on race, gender and sexuality. I know many organization’s probably steer away from including parents and children because of the over-sexualization of the LGBTQIA+ community, the community’s relationship with substance use along with the fear of pursuant slander that “the community is grooming children” but the kids are gay. They’ll be gay whether you help them, educate them or not. I’d much rather live in a world where my kid doesn’t have to hide who they are or take years to connect the dots because they didn’t have access to this information.

The BIPOC Complex is what I call it when a person who is not White causes harm and uses the same script as White people but throws in BIPOC. These actions create a dynamic that forces fake solidarity and dismisses appropriation or other harm caused under the umbrella. It begs for a connection or intimate relationship that very little of us have outside the fact that we are not White and that we experience the effects of White Supremacy culture. It screams “we’re all in this together” when history has shown us time and time again that we are not.

On any given day, there are nearly 424,000 children in foster care in the United States. This is me at age 4. I’d enter the foster care system for the first time a year later.

In 2019, over 672,000 children spent time in U.S. foster care. Black, LBGTQIA+ and youths with mental illnesses are disproportionately placed in foster care. Black youths are twice as likely to be placed in foster care as White youths. These youths often come from families living below the poverty line; poverty and all of the issues related to it increase the likelihood of substance use and homelessness.

I can’t help but feel like this is some sort of “BIPOC complex” mixed with an inflated ego. The idea that just because you aren’t a White man means you’d be the best choice to be involved with the storytelling for other people who aren’t White, even if they aren’t from your community is absurd. It also solidifies that you don’t have to be White to participate in White Supremacy culture. I’m sure he won’t be saying no to projects soon but I really wish he would.

I’m going through one of the hardest times in my life and I really wish I had my dad. I’ve been no contact with my parents for almost 5 years now and I need y’all to know that grief is still the same even if the person is still living.

It would be foolish if I didn’t also mention generational trauma stemming from White supremacy as a factor to these cultural exchanges and customs. I still don’t have a firm list of affirmations even after all these years but I am more knowledgable about their crucial affect on my mental health. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a firm list but I do know I’ll always go back to “I call you ‘sun’ because you shine like one”.

I now know “alternative music” is a genre created to place music White people have appropriated from others. These tactics continue and White people continue to genre hop without hesitation and with little resistance, see Post Malone.

It’s literally titled How to deal with remote work microaggressions but goes on and on about “allyship”. It basically just lists all the microaggressions they can think of for various communities and drops BIPOC as many times as possible. Who are y’all talking to? Lola Bakare (She/Her) shared similar feelings after receiving an email entitled “Want to Be an Ally to Black Women? from Lean In. Lola shared that “another great way to be an ally is to acknowledge your Black subscribers exist.” Both examples credit the writing to the brand and not a specific writer or group of writers. If your target audience is cis White people, you should say that.

Often people are not able to get past question one. I also make sure to let them know that I have no interest in being hospitalized. A therapist dedicated to providing adequate care and ensuring those in search of care are able to receive the care they need would be able to provide honest answers. Not all therapists are good therapists. It’s better to know that before building a harmful relationship with a bad one.